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Pushy People — 6 Comments

  1. Pingback:Nosy People | The House of Why

  2. Have you ever put yourself in the pushy people’s shoes? I’m aware of the fact that I can be very pushy and that makes me very sad. I wish I can control it, stop it, do more about it. I have even asked my friends to pinch me when I’m being pushy so I can stop. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy to stop being yourself. I have lost lots of relationships because of that. If you have any solution or advice…go ahead and send it to me. I will be more than happy to try it. I’m generally a very friendly and outgoing person, but when it comes to relationships I get to be really pushy.

    • Hi, Manu! Thank you for your post. I would like to applaud you for recognizing that you have a pushy character and wanting to do something about it. That’s a big first step. Not many pushy people realize that they’re pushy, so they don’t know that they need to improve themselves. I don’t claim to be a psychologist or a therapist, but if I may make a suggestion, try to treat people the way you would like to be treated. This doesn’t mean you should stop being yourself; rather, you should bring out the best of your personality with consideration for others. Be the best “you” and your friends will see you shine!

    • Most pushy people I’ve known tend to have anxiety problems, and that’s what is driving the pushy and controlling behaviors. Unfortunately, giving in to the pushiness only makes the problem worse over time, because it will make the pushy person associate being pushy with getting what they want (and the alleviation of their negative feelings). Thus, they become increasingly motivated to be pushy in the future, eventually alienating everyone around them.

      Frankly, if you are pushy, you need realize that your internal “threat detection system” is malfunctioning, and recalibrate it. Look to how most people around you – especially those who are respected and well-liked — are acting and reacting to events. Take that as your cue, as to what is appropriate and normal in various situations.

      1) When everyone else is lot calmer about the issue you are, you’re probably overreacting.

      2) When everyone else is not treating this matter as an urgent priority, it’s probably not that big a deal.

      3) When most other people would not nitpick whatever this is, you probably shouldn’t either.

      4) When you’re in a group at a restaurant, and no one is badgering the wait staff with constant questions, you shouldn’t either.

      Basically, just look at the standard set by the people around you, and don’t ask for any more attention, effort, pampering, or consideration than they are. THAT is what is appropriate behavior, by the standard of the setting.

      When you consciously make the choice to behave appropriately in spite of your fears, you will realize something as time passes.

      The world did not end, nobody died, and everything is just fine!

      Now, aren’t you *SO* glad you didn’t embarrass yourself by having a meltdown front of everyone? Your friends like you, your coworkers respect you, and your family enjoys your company! What a relief! 😀

      Over time, behaving appropriately rather than flying off the rails will become a habit in social situations, and finally a frame of reference that operates even when you’re alone. At this point, you can consider yourself an EX Pushy Person. 😀

  3. For most people being pushy is part of their overall strategy to enact their agendas. In most cases this has become a habit. If you are old enough that you have trouble breaking the habit, yiu may actually need psychological help to break out of it.

  4. Thanks for the post. Pushy people seem to be everywhere. Dealt with this four times in two days. To them you know shut the hell up, man. Be grateful about your three-day weekend. Quit being so pushy.

    Going to say that to someone the next time it’s a holiday and they use that to be an insistent dbag about it. People were shoving, getting upset about being refused and even pouting when they were ignored.

    Pushy people display a lot of signs of schizophrenia. For example saying excuse me, sir in a demanding tone of voice strikes me personally as a little odd and someone who is probably being narcissistic.

    When someone blurts out “come on, man” at a clearly disinterested person, not keeping his personality in check and minding his own dang business, that stuff just seems very pushy and fake.

    The pushy people strike me as those big personalities always going out flaunting and fussing and doing whatever they can to get off on other people’s discomfort.

    My job at my local meeting is to help with books. If someone wants to buy one great if not won’t grovel. Needless to say people come up. Is that pushiness? That’s the dead opposite of that.

    Narcissist, neurotic types need to chill with their level of jumpiness and pushiness. They do stuff without even a warning shot and it’s starting to compromise my damn mind. Insisting behavior is problematic.

    Not to go even more of length and over share, but it seems that public transportation and hotels can especially be coves for the Pushy Patties of the world. They always have to be in public. 🙁

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