Pushy People

Why are some people pushy?

Who doesn’t know someone who’s pushy?  It can be your your co-worker, friend, spouse, or parent.  It can be someone tall or short, blonde or brunette, young or old, male or female.  Pushy people come in all colors, shapes, and sizes.  They’re all around us.  We see the kid in the store pushing his father to buy him the toy he wants, the wife in the doctor’s office pushing her husband to tell the doctor every ailment he’s had, the man in the electronics store pushing all the upgrades and warranties on a customer.  There are situations in which a little pushiness is called for, but there are some people who are just plain pushy period.

What makes some people more pushy than others?  Is there such a thing as a pushiness gene?  Were pushy people pushed too much at one time and therefore became pushy themselves?  Or were pushy people just allowed to be pushy because no one stopped them from being pushy?  From what I gather, the condition of pushiness hasn’t been adequately researched because there are plenty of websites that address dealing with pushy people but few if any dealing with the causes of pushiness.

Whether nature or nurture is the cause of their condition, pushy people and their pushy tendencies can be rather annoying.  Does anyone (including pushy people) enjoy being nagged by a pushy person?  Probably not.  And doctors have even found that pushy people are detrimental to both the emotional and physical health of others.  For example, pushy people can cause headaches, stomachaches, lower back pain, high blood pressure, and depression.  Anxiety and insomnia can also be added.  Did I mention headaches?

I’m sure like many other people, I just don’t understand why some people have a need to be pushy.  Even more, I don’t understand why pushy people fail to recognize that they’re pushy even though they may get messages from the people they push, such as “Sorry, I have to get going,” “I’m really not interested in that,” “I don’t want to discuss this now,” or just plain “No.”  It’s hard enough to say “no” to a pushy person to begin with but even harder to get the pushy person to actually process “no” in his or her mind and back down.  Why can’t pushy people recognize that instead of pushing their agendas forward, they’re actually pushing people away from them?

Why, indeed.


Comments

Pushy People — 3 Comments

  1. Pingback: Nosy People | The House of Why

  2. Have you ever put yourself in the pushy people’s shoes? I’m aware of the fact that I can be very pushy and that makes me very sad. I wish I can control it, stop it, do more about it. I have even asked my friends to pinch me when I’m being pushy so I can stop. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy to stop being yourself. I have lost lots of relationships because of that. If you have any solution or advice…go ahead and send it to me. I will be more than happy to try it. I’m generally a very friendly and outgoing person, but when it comes to relationships I get to be really pushy.

    • Hi, Manu! Thank you for your post. I would like to applaud you for recognizing that you have a pushy character and wanting to do something about it. That’s a big first step. Not many pushy people realize that they’re pushy, so they don’t know that they need to improve themselves. I don’t claim to be a psychologist or a therapist, but if I may make a suggestion, try to treat people the way you would like to be treated. This doesn’t mean you should stop being yourself; rather, you should bring out the best of your personality with consideration for others. Be the best “you” and your friends will see you shine!

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